When it comes to relationships, certainty is the one thing we are ALL looking for but rarely find. It’s the relationship questions we don’t even realise we have that cause the most trouble! Communication is the penultimate solution to getting these relationship issues solved, but not every relationship is the same – so how do we know where to start and what to ask?
The singles among us looking for love are plagued with these relationship questions keeping them up at night. Wondering perhaps what the person they’ve been dating for 3 weeks thinks about them. While those in long term relationships may be wondering when could be the right time to take it to the next level. No matter where you are on the spectrum, we know those unanswered relationship questions aren’t floating around in your mind alone. In this world you are never alone! So whether it’s a truth you need to hear, or the courage to take that leap of faith and finally ask your partner – listen up! We are here to give you the ultimate insight into exactly what it is you are looking for in those answers – and maybe more!
1. Do they like me?
Let’s start with the obvious one of all relationship questions, shall we? Does the person on your mind right now have you on theirs? Now I’m not looking for any mind readers, but if you spend all day thinking and talking to this person and they’re reciprocating all the same action I think it’s a no brainer. Do they request your company, call you frequently and seem keen on getting to know you better? If the answer to all of the above is no – then I think it’s time to start looking for another! But if we have ticked all the boxes, then I think you have something here, so don’t worry – you’ve got this!
2. Why don’t they reply to my text messages?
This is often as simple and unfortunate as one of the most common relationship questions – be it family, friends or romantic! Miscommunication! Often it’s a case of life getting in the way, going to work, commuting and getting distracted. Don’t get me wrong – nowadays, everyone does have their phone in their hand. But is it likely that your other half is watching Netflix with airplane mode on, just to get through an episode without the annoying interruption of an email alert? Hands up if you’ve done it – I know I did. Truthfully, keeping up with technology and communication is hard, so cut them some slack. If it get’s really bad, with days on end of constantly being ignored, then ask them in person! There’s nothing like a good one-on-one conversation.
3. Why don't we spend time together?
I think it’s important to think about whether this is something you can control in your relationship. Is it by choice that you don’t spend as much time as you want together or is it your schedules that won’t allow it? There is a clear difference between people who have a lot of spare time and choose not to spend it with their significant other and those who genuinely do not have the time they wish they did! Remember – it works both ways. Are you making time for your love interest? Or is this a blame game, only to rant about it when really, you could be cutting back the work hours and figuring out a way to see them more often. Hm?
4. Why do we run out of things to talk about?
There is nothing quite as awkward like an uncomfortable silence between two people – so I suggest more than anything that you find yourself someone with whom you can be comfortably silent. If you haven’t quite found that person yet, sign up now at Luxy for a chance to find your one true soulmate. Sometimes even true love can run out of things to say – that’s human nature and completely normal. If in doubt take yourselves out on a fun date, to the movies or theatre and get discussing what you’re experiencing together!
5. How do we keep the excitement?
Well if you’ve got this far I’m sure it’s already there – it’s just in a temporary hibernation. If you’re willing to put the effort in then a revival should be an easy task. What are all the fun things you love doing together, what makes you laugh and most of all what makes you attracted to that person? Emphasise it and highlight all the best parts of the relationship and focus on them. Stay grateful and work towards having fun!
6. Why is jealousy taking over my life?
Jealousy is never a light topic, especially when you are personally experiencing it or the backlash of someone else’s jealousy. The only way one can truly counter any form of jealousy in their life is with trust. The foundation of any relationship is one based on trust – which cannot be shaken easily. Without trust, there is plenty of room for curiosity and questions around how much you would not have faith in your partner. That is a problem that could be self-destructive and pointless. Let’s keep the trust in and jealousy out!
7. Do they love work more than me?
It’s Ok to have ambition and passion, a career goal that might just make you an over achiever or a workaholic. Put yourself in their shoes, I’m sure you can understand the desire in their successful work ethic– nevertheless, its HARD. It may seem that they dedicate their time to work more than you at the moment. However, this does not necessarily mean that they love work more than you.
If you are having doubts, consider taking the time to sit and talk to your other half to understand why they are making less time for you and more for work. In most cases, it is because they have goals and aspirations that they want to reach and are taking the time to get there. Whilst this may seem as though they care less about you, they are doing it to benefit both of you. They do it to assist in providing a stronger future for the two of you. Now, who wouldn’t want that?
8. Am I being pressured into this?
If you are having second thoughts about anything (and doubting or questioning whether or not you should do what you are considering to do), then you are likely being pressured. Take a step back and ask yourself why you are questioning it. Do you actually want to do it? Are you thinking of doing it just to please another person? If so, remove yourself from the situation and be confident and assertive in what you actually want. You should not conform to or be pressured to do anything that you are not happy or comfortable doing.
9. Con I love and hate someone at the same time?
Love – hate relationships are common. You are bound to experience one in your lifetime. There could be someone in your life right now, who is always making the wrong decisions and treating you badly – but something about them keeps drawing you back to them like a magnet. If the things that they do make you hate them, why do you keep coming back? Simply put, it’s because you still love them. No matter what they do, you have unconditional love for them or you are used to them.
You find it difficult to let go because they have been in your life for so long, you’re scared of letting go. You are worried about what might happen if they leave you – that’s why you stay, that’s why you still love. Even when they are anything but good for you, you still love. So yes, you can love and hate someone at the same time. BUT in most cases, it is not a healthy relationship. If you can relate to this type of relationship, you need to be honest with yourself and ask if you can keep living this way? Is this a relationship you want to keep in your life? If the answer to both of those is no, do something about it.
10. Why do we keep arguing?
Always getting on each other’s nerves? Every little thing about them annoys you? Arguing over everything, regardless of how petty? Many relationship questions are about arguments. There is a high possibility that one or both of you are getting bored in the relationship. The two of you are looking for an excuse to create some drama or to potentially give the other a reason to end the relationship.
It isn’t healthy, arguing all the time isn’t fun and you should try to identify the root of the problem. Why do you always argue? What annoys you the most? Talk about it. Express your feelings to one another. Grow together, improve and build upon your relationship to make it stronger – if that is what you both want. I am sure if you are both on the same page, you can come to a mutual understanding of why you both argue all the time. That can either lead to a break up or a make up – both for the better.
11. Is this going anywhere?
Uh oh – the dreaded ‘talk’. If you’ve had it, you know the utmost fear prior, and if you haven’t then I feel a tiny bit sorry for you for when your day comes. But to be specific, have you spoken about your future? Kids? Marriage? Career goals? You have, great. If you haven’t, why? If you are in a relationship that you are serious about, and see them in your future, then it is important. Besides, it’s a great way to get talking if you get stuck. Just talk about your future. It makes sense, right? You see them in your future, so talk about your future.
If they are disinterested in that or unbothered about what the future holds, then that is a red flag. You need reassurance and confidence that they want this relationship just as much as you do. That’s understandable and reasonable, right? We think so. If your other half isn’t talking about the future or bothered to build it with you then it likely is not going anywhere. We advise to either talk to them to truly understand what they want out of this relationship, or look for someone who shares the same values as you .
12. Am I happy?
Now I’m sorry because this one is a trick question! Why are you questioning if you’re happy or not? If you have to question it, then it is very likely that you aren’t happy. Those who are happy in a relationship very rarely have to ask themselves about relationship questions, their happiness and their contentedness with their other half.
However, if there have been a number of occasions where you have questioned yourself then that would lead many to believe that there are issues in your relationship. There are relationship problems which need to be looked into and spoken about to identify why you aren’t feeling the happiness you deserve. Does s/he still make you laugh? Can they still hold great conversations with you? Do they still put effort into your relationship? Are they getting too comfortable? Is that why you aren’t happy? Be honest with yourself, don’t waste any more time in a relationship where you are not content.
I hope these solutions have given you the kick you needed. Hopefully a little wisdom too, for you to carry on in your relationship and get those relationship questions rolling off the tongue with confidence! If you end up not getting those answers you’re so eagerly hoping for, don’t worry there’s always time for love! Let love find you on Luxy!