Naturally, when dating online, a time will come when you will have to come offline and meet your sweetheart in real life.
Meeting in real life is 100% more nerve-wrecking than meeting online (we all experience it). But remember that it is also that much more rewarding and enjoyable – we are humans, we need each other at the end of the day. There is nothing better than finally embracing by a person you’ve been enjoying talking to for some time now.
Below, find our list of first date tips which will make your first date run much smoother. It will keep your nerves under control and is guaranteed to result in future dates (if done right).
1. Introduce physical contact
The main focus point of Matthew’s first date advice is centred around the idea of touching. His concept is that introducing physical touch early on during your first date makes it much, much easier and natural to touch later on, maybe when it comes to, say, your first kiss. The anticipation or build up of nerves will disappear because you already crossed that gap between you two.
This first touch can come in the form of a simple but kind hug upon meeting, maybe a kiss on the cheek (if that is how you greet). It should not be something inappropriate. It is important to be friendly and warm. This will put both of you at ease right at the beginning and it will create a nice atmosphere for the date.
Additionally, it is important to use touch often throughout the date. Use it when he tells a joke – touch his forearm. As a man, you can offer to hold her hand when going down the steps, getting out of a car, etc. The opportunities are there, believe us.
This first date tip is not only removing the tension of making physical contact with your date, but by following it, you will also set a flirtier mood, making this first date unforgettable (and getting that second date will be far easier).
2. External focus
The second point that Matt rises in his first date advice, is to create an ‘external focus’. This is basically just removing the pressure of you and your date to make conversation.
Have you ever been on a first date and suddenly – that horrific moment came when you run out of words, and your date does too. You then awkwardly look away, or pretend to be very interested in your coffee cup? Sounds like you? Avoid this by allowing you and your date to go in and out of conversation as naturally as you do when you go for a coffee with your friend. First of all – silence is okay. It is common and natural, and it happens in all of your conversations. The difference between those conversations is that you don’t pay attention to it so much when you speak with your best friend.
The advice for the next first date? Make sure that wherever you go on your first date, there is something you can focus on besides your date (and that it is equally interesting for them). For example, go on a walk in a beautiful environment, in a park or if you are adventurous and love the outdoors, you can go on a hike. Take a boat ride or a helicopter around a beautiful scenery (ensure your date feels comfortable with it). This is great because it will also create an experience that you shared. It is bound to get you talking.
Wherever you go, just remember this: if you take off the pressure of having to make conversation, when the silence comes it will be a silence that is natural. You will both be enjoying the activity and the silence, not just starting at each other awkwardly.
3. Do not face each other
This leads us to the next dating advice that Matt has shared in his video – absolutely do not face each other for the duration of the first date. This first date tip is crucial and goes alongside the ‘first date tip no. 2’ – avoiding awkwardness. This is probably the single most feared aspect of first dates, and the fix to it is super easy.
Matt highlights some good points – if you are a great conversationalist, by all means, don’t be shy to create that small bubble around you and talk all evening. But if you are not (and when nerves kick in, your ability to create good conversation probably decreases, so bear that in mind), use this simple first date trick – at dinner, don’t sit opposite each other.
On the contrary, sit almost next to each other. It will create an intimate enough space for you to have a conversation, and when the conversation (naturally) fades out, you can both focus on the world around you for a moment. Then, get back to your date. You will share a moment of silence together, which is rather comfortable than awkward, because you allow yourselves to have a small break.
Remember, this first date advice is to avoid facing each other and creating the usual, awkward scenario of not knowing what to say while feeling rude to look at the world behind your date. Letting the conversation come and go will allow the best of you to come through and you will enjoy your first date without worrying about what to say next.
4. End the date when it should end
Imagine this: having followed the tips above, your first date went amazing! In fact, so amazing that after dinner, you feel like extending it past the intended deadline because you just cannot get enough of your date! Sounds extraordinary, right? Well, think about this; do not try to prolong your first date, even if you are having a lot of fun.
This first date advice is important if you are thinking of seeing your date again. Ending your date when it should end is guaranteed to build excitement and anticipation for your second date – don’t exhaust yourselves on the first one. It gives you a safe pass when asking for a second date. Plus, it sounds natural to suggest that you should go for a drink or go for an evening walk, on another day.
5. Your attire…
This first date advice is about getting the typical butterflies under control. Comfortable yet attractive is the tag line here. We all know that there is nothing more attractive than a woman or a man that feels confident, knows she or he looks good and is not walking around like a robot in super tight and uncomfortable clothes. Our top first date tip to feel confident and at ease when meeting someone you like.
First impressions count. Firstly, you want to ensure that whatever you are going to wear is a) appropriate for a first date and then b) it will make you feel comfortable. It will help with nerves (one thing less to worry you). Along this first date advice goes the tip to check out online the venue which you are thinking of visiting. Check where you are going beforehand, because trust us, sometimes avoiding surprises can save you a whole bunch of awkwardness. You will want to dress for the occasion.
The golden rule here will be: better be over dressed than under-dressed – but be comfortable in what you wear.
Ready? Set. Go!
Now, these first date tips should arm you sufficiently to nail your next first date. Go out, enjoy it and don’t sweat it too much! You are both in the same boat when it comes to meeting him/her for the first time, just make sure you’re warm, friendly and keep in mind these first date tips!
Share with us below some of your first date tips and tricks! Here at Luxy we love reading your dating experiences!