Dating Tips

How women test men: 5 Subtle tests a woman will give you and how to pass them with ease

“You got an F!”

In school, you can retake a failed test. 

In dating, if you fail her test, it’s game over. 


In school, you knew when you were tested. But women don’t give you a sign or announce their test like: “ Attention, I’m about to test you.” 

This is why I’ll show you 5 common tests a woman will give you. And I’ll explain how to pass them without breaking a sweat. 

It took me years of trial and error to discover the dating patterns that really work, including these 5 tests. 

Knowing how to pass these 5 tests will save you a lot of time and frustration. 

Now, one brief thing before we start: There is a common dating myth about how women test men. That women test you intentionally. 

Nothing couldn’t be further from the truth. Some women might do it. But the majority is not sitting at home coming up with tests while laughing like a James Bond villain. Women are testing you subconsciously without being aware.

They simply follow their biological programming to figure out if you’re the right guy for them. 

How women test men: 5 Tests you’ll experience while dating her

Here are 5 tests women use to test men… 


Test #1: The Reliability Test

What do women want in a man? 

One of the things women want is a reliable man. In other words, someone she can count on when things are tough. Someone to protect her. Not only does this make you husband material, but it also shows her you’ll be a great father. So it’s the first thing she will test for.

How will she do it? 

It’s pretty simple. She’ll reject you despite liking you. For example, she’ll pull back when you’re trying to kiss her on the first date.

And she might even say, “Why are you kissing me?”

Whatever you say next will decide whether you’ll get a second date or a second round of chasing after a new woman.  

You see…

If you fail the test, her subconscious mind will think: “If he cannot handle my rejection, then he won’t be able to handle the obstacles life will throw at us.”

I know it sounds strange. But if you think about it, it makes sense. She can only judge you based on what she sees. So what’s the best way for her to know how you’ll handle an obstacle? 

To ask you? 

To quote the famous rapper DMX: “Talk is cheap Motherf*cker!”

So she’ll create an obstacle to see what you’re really made of.

How to pass the reliability test

First, don’t be reactive. 

If she doesn’t want to kiss you, keep talking as if nothing happened. Don’t argue with her or try to pressure her into kissing you. See her reaction as what it truly is: It doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to kiss you. It means she’s simply not ready yet. 

Second, don’t apologize.

Apologizing for making a move won’t make her lust for you. 

If she’s asking you: “Why are you kissing me?”

Tell her: “Because I like you.”

She’ll respect you for your honesty because you’re not intimidated by her. This means you’ll be a reliable husband, father, and protector. 

Despite what society might tell you, studies and experience have shown most women prefer traditional gender roles in a relationship. 

Test #2: The Attraction Test

Shocking fact: Women are also concerned about whether you like them. 

If this sounds like a conspiracy theory to you, let me explain it in a different way:

To see if a woman likes him, most men will look for signs of sexual attraction.


Mostly because they want to make sure she likes him before making a move and getting rejected.

But women? 

They test you to make sure you’re the right one. 


They play hard to get. 

For example, she might wait a few days to reply. 

Or she might not text back at all. 

Why is she doing this?

She wants to see how invested you are in getting her. How much you’re into her. You see, women crave to be desired. It’s common wisdom which has been proven.  

How to pass the attraction test:

Don’t give up.

Keep persisting. Show her you want her. For example, if she doesn’t text you back, text her. Jumping through all these hoops feels disrespectful, but don’t get mad at her. She is not doing it on purpose. 

She is just trapped in her subconscious

Test #3: The Boyfriend Test

“I’m not that kind of girl!”

Maybe it’s something you heard once or twice before.

But why do some women say this? 

  • Did she have a bad experience in the past? 
  • Maybe she has a rule to not sleep with men on the first date?
  • Or she’s afraid you’ll lose respect if she sleeps with you too soon? 

All of those reasons could be true.

But a woman also delays having sex with you to test your intentions. 

She wants to know if you’re interested in just sex or if you want a relationship.

How to pass the boyfriend test:

The answer again is to be non-reactive.

Imagine you’re at your place. Sitting on your couch. Trying to initiate sex. All is going well, but then she says: “I’m not ready.”

Don’t argue. 

Don’t pressure her. 

Simply say: “Cool, I understand. I wouldn’t enjoy it anyway if you’re not feeling comfortable.”

And then stop kissing and touching her. Keep on talking as if nothing happened. More often than not, she’ll try to kiss you 5 or 10 minutes later because she won’t resist the sexual tension in the air. But if she doesn’t, it’s not a problem.

You have shown you’re not pushy or aggressive, which will make her feel comfortable sleeping with you in the future.

Test #4: The Boundaries Test

It’s the year 2013. 

I just started a new relationship with my beautiful ex-girlfriend Izabela. She is so pretty that guys kiss her ass non-stop. Her university mates even had a nickname for her, “Nilf.” As in… Nerd, I would like to *.

One day we went to a nightclub, and she asked me: “Are you thirsty?”

I said, “Sure.”

So she went to the bar to get us drinks. She took out her wallet but left her bag with me.

5 minutes later, she is still at the bar.

10 minutes later, no sign of her.

15 minutes later, she’s still gone.

20 minutes later, I still stand like a fool all by myself, holding her bag.

“Enough is enough,” I thought to myself. So I went to the bar. And there she was, talking to a guy from her university.

Man, I was so pissed!

But I kept my cool.

The next day I asked her to meet me at our favorite coffee place. After ordering drinks, I calmly told her:

“Look, I like you. But what happened yesterday wasn’t cool. I stood around for over 20 minutes, waiting and holding your bag. And in the meanwhile, you’re busy talking to another guy. You probably didn’t know how much it upsets me. If you do this again, I’ll throw your bag on the ground, and we are done.”

She said: “You cannot say this. No other guy has ever talked to me like this.” 

I replied: “I’m not like the other guys.”

She kissed me and said: “Thank god!”

And I thought: “What the h*ck?”

But then I realized she was testing my boundaries. To see if I can stand up for myself. Women respect a man who can put his foot down if necessary. 

And she needs to respect you to feel attracted to you long term. 

How to pass the boundaries test: 

Don’t suffer in silence. 

Let her know your boundaries.

But remember, no one is perfect. There will be small things that will annoy you about her and vice versa. It’s part of any relationship. 

One last word of caution: Never assume she knows your boundaries. So don’t scream at her if she oversteps them. It won’t resolve anything.

She’ll simply scream back, even if she knows you’re right. 

Test #5: The Trust Test 

She asks: “Honey, can you take out the trash?”

He replies: “Sure, I’ll do it later.”

But then he doesn’t. 

It’s not a big deal. I mean, he can simply throw out the trash tomorrow, right? 


It might not be a big deal for us men, but it’s a huge deal for women.


As crazy as it sounds for her, it’s a sign you’re not trustworthy. She’ll start to think: “If I cannot trust you with taking the trash out, how can I trust you with more important things like picking up our kids?” 

How to pass the trust test:

Keep the promises you make – No matter how small.

And if, for some reason, you can’t keep a promise. Apologize before she complains. And try to make it up to her. 

One last piece of advice: 

Do you know the simplest way to keep your promises?
Only make the ones you intend to keep. The lower the expectation, the less likely you’ll disappoint her. 


Your Efficient Dating Advisor,

Herman The German


Herman The German

This article was written by our guest expert Herman the German. 

He used to be a banker in a top investment firm, who turned his pattern recognition and cold analysis skills into a way to help men with their dating and love life.

He invented the Efficient Dating Systems Made in Germany and is sharing his recent discoveries on 


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