Dating Tips

How To Attract Women

What is the secret to magically attract women? Why are even some men idolized by women and apparently don’t even have to do anything for it? We are sharing with you 10 simple steps that also enable you to attract women with ease.


Part A: Preparation and Getting Acquainted
Part B: Being attractive to women: Getting down to business

Part A: Preparation and Getting Acquainted

Step 1: Doing most of the talking at the beginning of the conversation

Of course, it always depends on the woman and the situation, but you should avoid the mistake that many men make and that is to burden her with the lion’s share of the conversation, to ask only unnecessary questions and to always dig for common ground. Try to do two-thirds of the talking, maybe a bit more. The goal here is to demonstrate your personality and class to her. Keep the conversation light, fun and playful. 

How to attract women in the beginning with a conversation? There are a few convo starters you want to think about.

The dominant, playful alpha male:

  • “I’m sure you hear this all the time, but you really are the most gorgeous woman I’ve seen in a long time … during the last three minutes. (haha) Just kidding.”
  • “My buddy had to drag me along today, but I’m so glad he talked me into this. Cuz seeing you, right here, right now, has been worth everything.”

The direct, “facts” guy:

  • “Hi, my name is Max, what brings you here today?”
  • “May I just say, you have an absolute gorgeous smile. I just had to come over and let you know.”
  • “I’ve been looking for an excuse to talk to you all along. Haven’t found anything though. Can I just tell you a funny story that happened to me yesterday?”

The somewhat shy guy:

  • “I’m sorry if I come across as weird. But I always feel shy in the presence of such pretty girls.”
  • “I’m glad you’re still here. I’ve been trying to get up the courage to talk to you for the last half hour, and I was afraid I’d have to embarrass myself in front of you sober.”

By sticking true to your personality and guiding the conversation you will attract women with ease.

Woman listening to man on date

Step 2: Avoid everyday topics like politics, your exact work details or anything negative

Try to guide the conversation, but don’t control it. You shouldn’t take on the role of the interviewer and fire off questions like “Where are you from?” or “What do you do?”. Try to bring out your exciting, but controlled self. That will reflect very attractive towards women. 

If she brings up a topic you think is going in the wrong direction, gently push the conversation in another direction. Add something that has something to do with her topic, but is light and funny and can lead to a new path.

If she keeps coming back to a topic that you see as more counterproductive, you have two options:

  • Either get involved in the topic; after all, she seems to really want to talk about it.
  • Or find an elegant, respectful way to get out of the conversation and focus your efforts on someone else. A simple “it was very nice talking to you” should do it.

We have more tips for you about how to talk to women that we recommend you to check out.

Step 3: How to attract women who are not interested

The answer is to pass difficult hurdles with flying colors. For instance, many women say – if they don’t find you attractive enough yet – that they have a boyfriend, even if they don’t. At the same time, many women who say they have a boyfriend do have one. So you’re facing a tricky hurdle here. But don’t worry, because hurdles are there to be jumped over. You’ll get over them with ease.

  • If a woman says “I have a boyfriend, I’d rather we didn’t talk”, just smile, say it was nice talking to her and move on. Sometimes life just gives you a lemon.
  • If a woman says “I have a boyfriend” and leaves it at that, you can say, “No problem. I respect that. Is it a problem if we keep talking?”. Then, if she says yes in a somewhat shy way, hang onto it. You can turn lemons into lemonade. It is quite possibly that at a later stage she reveals to actually not have a boyfriend or just “recently having broken up”.
  • Don’t assume you’ll get the number from a woman in a relationship or marriage. You don’t want to be that kind of guy. If a girl mentions her boyfriend, you better look elsewhere unless you’re totally crazy about her.

Step 4: How to attract women without talking

Being handsome is not everything to be deemed attractive but your appearance plays a big role if a woman finds you attractive or not.

Attractive men firstly feel comfortable in their body and secondly care about their appearance. If you’re unhappy with your body or your appearance, change it! It’s not about becoming a male fitness model, but simply liking your body and being happy with yourself. Because that automatically makes you attractive!

But how can you attract women in that way?

  • Get in shape. Do sports and don’t just eat junk. Not to get leaner or more toned, but to improve your body image. Both your physics and your skin. Of course, a few muscles can’t hurt if you like it yourself!
  • Have your own style. Dress well and tastefully in your own style! This can range from sporty to modern, classic or elegant. When you have an individual appearance, women remember you. Your clothes don’t have to be expensive, nor do they have to be fashion-forward. It’s much more important that you take care of it. Wear freshly laundered clothes that are not wrinkled to dates and important events. Your shoes should also be shined and use a lint roller! This will enhance your outfit tremendously!
  • Be well-groomed. Your body is your temple – treat it as such! As with clothing, the more time you invest in your body care, the more valuable you look to others and especially to women!
    The absolute basics in terms of body care: clean teeth without gaps, clean and short fingernails, a neat hair and beard cut. Use a deodorant and perfume but do not overdo it.

Step 5: Don't worry about the outcome

Try to set yourself up so that you don’t have to care at all whether you end up with her or not. If she is attracted to you, all the better. If not, on to the next one.

If you tell yourself that you need her attention because your ego can’t stand rejection, you’re going to get hurt over and over again. Unless you’re George Clooney, you will keep getting rejected every now and then. There is nothing wrong with that. Rejection is natural. But if you are hurt or disappointed by every missed opportunity, you will miss all the thousands of other opportunities that are out there waiting for you.

Woman and man chatting coffee

Part 2: Being attractive to women: Getting down to business

Step 6: Never appear needy

If the woman thinks even for a moment that she is worth more in your eyes than you are in hers, you put yourself in a disadvantageous position. Why? People want to work a little for their gain, because then success tastes even sweeter.

So how to attract women by not appearing needy? There are many ways you can show that you are not needy. But most importantly, make yourself independent of her reaction (see above). 

Remember: this woman, as beautiful, funny and smart as she is, is just one of many beautiful, funny and smart women in your universe. If it doesn’t work for her, it will work for another one.

Don’t shower her with compliments. A choice compliment at the beginning of the conversation is quite enough to show her that you’re into her. That said, smart women often know you’re into them even without compliments. So leave the corny compliments at home and try to win her over with your wit, cleverness and opinions instead.

Step 7: Win her affection subconsciously

Try a little trick called “reverse cold reading”. 

So how to attract women with reverse reading? Find something that you are pretty sure doesn’t apply to her. Then say to her that you don’t like that about girls. Since it doesn’t apply to her, she will explain to you what she thinks about it and that she is not like that at all. She will try to qualify herself to you. That’s what we do when we want to win someone’s favor. And that is exactly what you are trying to do. Subconsciously, she will be more attracted to you, since you supposedly share common ground or at least similar views.

Step 8: Always act relaxed and calm

Your premise should be to have fun, because talking to a beautiful, interesting woman is incredibly stimulating. Flirt a little, be teasing, maybe a little cocky (if that suits your personality) and sarcastic (but don’t forget to add a playful smile so she also realizes you’re just fooling around). Pretend you’re talking to an old friend.

If she says something you disagree with, tell her. In other words, don’t be a wimp. Don’t be mean or hurtful about it, just tell her your opinion about it and explain why you feel that way. If you do this right, you’ll push the conversation and you’ll have interesting things to talk about. A man that can stand up for himself and gently can defend the principles he stands for is pretty attractive to women. If you’re confident, you can tease her a bit about how she doesn’t have a clue because she disagrees (lots of smiling here guys!). Don’t stretch it, though. Let her know that you understand and respect her views but why you (slightly) disagree. It’s always helpful to demonstrate that you can live with her having a different opinion and that you are not making a fuss over it. That shows you are gracious and mature – characteristics deemed very attractive in men.

Be calm and in control. Very, very calm. Like the captain of a ship you know exactly where you are going and everything you say and do has a reason. Nothing can hit you, not even rejection. You expect the best, but you are also prepared for the worst. Why? Because you are way cooler than her neighbor’s dog’s snout.

man woman relaxed

Step 9: To attract women takes time

Winning her affection doesn’t happen instantly but you should value your own time, as well. Remember that interacting with girls takes time but also has a lot to do with time management. You might not be able to attract women instantly. But don’t invest too much time on a conversation when you feel it’s not going anywhere. 

Be aware of eventualities. She can be distracted by something or someone at any time. It’s necessary to be prepared for a sudden ending of your conversation and how you still might be able to get her number or Instagram. 

But with a little practice, you’ll soon attract women within minutes and are able to get her number:

It can be helpful if you just talk to her for a few minutes and then ask her for her number anyway before you continue. It is difficult to be funny, clever and direct for a long time. Mix it up. For example, after asking her for her number, buy her a drink or ask her for a dance. Don’t extend the conversation unnecessarily and never lose sight of the final goal!

Step 10: Check her reactions

Last but not least, constantly check your effect on her. Look out for her body language, smiles, giggles, blinks in her eyes or touches. Regardless of personality or culture, women are pretty similar in their signs. With just a little practice, you can quickly categorize these signs. Follow your gut, it’s usually right.

woman smiling at man on date

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